Setting an intention: what it means & how to make it work

Do you have all these things you want to do but never get to them?

Do you want to feel more committed to the things you want to do?

Do you feel your attention is split and you end up wasting time?

Another topic that is spoken about a great deal in the personal development world is ‘setting an intention’. It is often spoken about in relation to ‘The Law of Attraction’ and how to attract the things you want to bring into your life. But, as is often the case, it is a very simple and easy concept that has been dressed up to be more than it is.

At its root it is about setting goals. Whether it is a day to day task, or a much larger project, an ambition or dream, it is about getting the idea in your head and defining it for yourself.

You can write it down, you can say it out loud, whatever works for you, but the very basis is stating it in some form so you are clear on exactly what you want, or intend to do, whether it is that day, that week, that month or even that year.

The focus here is in the act of actually stating your intention – that is ‘setting’ it.

By doing this you have a direction to move in, you have a purpose, an action to take, one that will bring you closer to what you want to achieve. Your mind can focus on the steps you need to take to complete it.

“Where focus goes, energy flows.”– Tony Robbins

For me, writing it down works. It enables me to refer to it as many times as I need and break down the steps into manageable chunks. If I get distracted or become unclear about what I need to do, I can look at it again. This repetition helps solidify the intention and set it as a foundation to build on – hence, the term ‘setting an intention’.

As a writer, I approach it like a story: I have a direction, a few scenes, and an ending in mind, which I move towards. Occasionally I get caught up in a character or go off into a side story, so I remind myself of my original plan, what my intention for the story was, the original core idea and return my focus to it.

But whether you are a writer or not, breaking it down into small steps – some of them small enough to do on a daily basis – makes it easier to see your progress and feel like you are getting somewhere and believe it is possible.  Decide on a physical action or on an amount of time each day you want to devote to it.

“Action is the foundational key to all success.” – Pablo Picasso

And if you feel overwhelmed by the enormity of what you are aiming for, or struggle to believe you can achieve it, return to the reason behind it – your ‘Why’. This helps refresh your motivation and the initial intention behind what you are trying to achieve. It will keep you moving forward, and keep up the momentum needed to hold on to the commitment you made to yourself.

Part of feeling you have achieved anything is trusting yourself and not letting yourself down; being proud of yourself for holding on and following through no matter how many times you feel you have failed.

You need to invest in yourself and connect with your truth – what you really want in your heart of hearts – to be able to succeed.

“Investing and Connecting is one of the key factors in turning any intention into reality”. - Rhonda Britten

The cross over with the ‘Law of Attraction’ is the idea that if you focus on the things you want you can ‘attract’ them to you. If you remain committed, you can make it happen. If you believe you can and remind yourself why you want to, and keep moving forward towards it with consistent, persistent action, anything is possible.

So, by ‘setting an intention’ of what you want to do, you are already turning your mind to it, you are already opening doors to it, and how to go about achieving it, actively looking for opportunities. This in turn will uncover them and you will learn new things, meet new people and keep progressing towards that intention.

“Our intentions create our reality.” – Wayne Dyer

So each time you have a bad day, or think you have failed in something you want to do, remind yourself of what you are trying to achieve; remind yourself of the reason behind it and commit to it again.

You can set an intention every single day.

You can write a new ‘to do’ list every day.

You can do one small thing towards your goal every day.

 It’s all down to believing that you can and then taking action.

That is what is behind ‘setting an intention’.

“The successful warrior is the average man with laser-like focus.” – Bruce Lee 

Book Review: Sex, Suicide and Serotonin, by Debbie Hampton

Sex, Suicide and Serotonin: How These Things Almost Killed And Healed Me by Debbie Hampton
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

This is actually a 3½ rating.

*This is an in depth review, so there maybe be SPOILERS*

I was very interested in reading about what happened to Debbie Hampton after her suicide attempt and the brain injury it caused, but there wasn’t the kind of detail I had expected.

The book didn’t run chronologically and kept skipping back and forth, making the timelines at the beginning and just after the suicide attempt confusing. There was a lot of repetition in the chapters too, making them longer than they needed to be, making it rambling, describing the same thing over and over. These things surprised me, as I would have expected an editor to have had some input in this being as it’s not a self-published novel. Being an editor myself, I tend to notice these sorts of thing more than others, but it really didn’t add to reader engagement, if anything it made it arduous to read and take in what Debbie was trying to impart – and she had a lot to impart, although most of it was right at the very end.

It’s difficult to review someone’s life story, as it’s not my business to critique their life and choices - plus they are already in the past, and I felt this was more of an autobiography of sorts, for the authors reference more than for the reader, maybe as a way to try and take in better what had happened in light of the brain injury and hold onto their memories. But these are the thoughts and feelings it arose when I read it.

For me, the structure of this novel affected how I felt about it. There was a detailed account of the aftermath of her suicide attempt and the injury, and then her relationships with her ex-husband and ex-boyfriend, prior to any discussion about her suicide and how she felt about that. I was not remotely interested in these men who had clearly mistreated her, and I found her detailed descriptions of them far too forgiving. There still seemed to be a lot of self-blame for how they had treated her, where she had clearly been disrespected, neglected and actually abused (verbally/emotionally). Although forgiveness is necessary, especially where children are involved, I felt that presenting them as good people who had their own issues and thus it made it okay, was not right. I didn’t feel either of them were good people – even though we do ‘teach people how to treat us’. I appreciate that often it is hard to think that we choose people that were wrong for us, that it can be seen a reflection of our ability to make good judgements, i.e.: ‘if I picked that person, what does that say about me’, kind of thing, but forgiveness is for ourselves, not for them. Forgive yourself that you let them treat you that way, but don’t justify their actions or make excuses for them. I wasn’t interested in their life stories and why they behaved the way they did. What they did wasn’t okay. But I understood in some ways that Debbie was writing this for herself, rather than an audience.

The discussion about Debbie’s suicide or suicide ideation was not what I expected and it left me feeling disappointed. There was a blaze, off-handed mention of the fact she had made earlier attempts in her teenage, which was sort of ‘standard teenage behaviour’ and that this was more of the same, yet, she did speak about hiding it from others. The focus was on the resulting brain injury as though that was something different, or a term that could be used instead of the term ‘suicide attempt’, to make it better and/or cover up what had actually taken place. And the description of it as ‘inherently selfish’ struck me as wrong and born of the conditioning that it is something to be ashamed of – having suicidal feelings – rather than an indication of an underlying problem, or mental health issue that needs to be treated with compassion and understanding.

Towards the end of the book Debbie speaks a little bit more about it, and about the treatment she pursued herself and retraining her brain, but it was skimmed over – her personal reasons – which is fine, but it made me wonder at the point of the book. The title indicates that it is about a suicide attempt – and it is – but it is more about the recovery of a brain injury that the attempt resulted in, than a recovery from whatever drove her to the attempt. There was no discussion about why she felt the need to make attempts in teenage and where that might be coming from. I couldn’t decide if that was due to the brain injury no longer allowing that kind of self-reflection or the desire not to dig that deep or share it – which is entirely up to the author, but leaves the reader wanting.

I was also struck by how little medical help was offered to Debbie – either with the brain injury itself or with the suicide. It was as though she was shunned due to the injury being caused by the attempt to take her life. Or at least it wasn’t written about in any detail, so I assumed it hadn’t existed. There was the mention of being committed to a facility immediately out of hospital, but it seemed more like a holding place rather than a treatment actively trying to help her. Debbie seemed left to her own devices to treat herself and understand alone what had happened to her brain and body, with no support from therapies either, which led me to the more incredulous (to me) notion that after just three months she had an expectation to have her children returned to her for full custody both after a suicide attempt AND a brain injury still affecting her every waking moment.

I was also surprised by the repetitive expression of her finding it heartwrenching to be away from her children, when she had planned to be absent from them permanently. I found it a strange juxtaposition. I understood she loves her children and her ex-husband was using them to be nasty and abusive (a common trait it seemed). I understood that her suicide attempt was in reaction to a feeling of failure after an abrupt end to a recent relationship, but then surely it would make sense to resolve some things within yourself and take a step back – although another strange twist was that if she hadn’t fought for their return she probably wouldn’t have had access or custody of them ever again, a strange twist in the laws of our society.

Although this book offers a great deal of information for anyone suffering from a brain injury and all the possible alternative treatments available, I was disappointed by the missed opportunity to talk about suicide and suicide ideation and tackle some of the taboos. However, I appreciated Debbie sharing this very personal event with the world.


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